My DH has been traveling extensively for business for the past few months. Now we are seeing the effects of his constant absence on the girl. She has became so insecure and often tries too hard to get his attention when he is at home. When he is home, she wants him to talk to him all the time. She would interrupt our conversations and she doesn’t even let him go when he needs to use the bathroom. She wants him to read, play and do stuff with her all the time and only let him off because it is her bedtime or he has to go to work.Like this morning …
The girl : Daddy, come here! Watch Lion King with me!!
DH : I can’t. I have to pack my stuff.
The girl : Nobody watch TV with me! Daddy don’t love me already!
Me: Girl, don’t say that. Papa needs to do his stuff. Why don’t you watch first, and he will join you later?
The girl: Mommy! 爸爸不要陪我看戏. 他不爱我了, 每次都不陪我.
Guilty DH: Don’t say that… Daddy will watch with you, but I can only watch a little ok?
Finally, the little one was satisfied. Both father and daughter sat side by side on the couch, put the movie on, popped some freshly picked strawberries and enjoyed the show together.
When daddy finally left for work, she came to me and said, “妈妈, 我想我的爸爸. 他会很久才会来吗?” (mommy, i miss my daddy. Will he come home late again today?)
Aww… How I wish I can tell her that her daddy will be home early tonight, but he is not.
The girl loves her daddy dearly but sometimes her method of showing her love for her daddy is a bit weird, she can be quite abusive towards him. She would yell at him, “strangle” him, bounce on him, and even… hit him. Maybe this is what they called “又爱又恨的爱”吧!
I have told her many times that she needs to be more gentle with her daddy, but she still does it and it is getting worse because of his absence. DH has been really tolerant towards her this type of behaviour, maybe because he feels guilty for not spending enough time with her. But I guess he started to realize that he needs to put a stop to it too because he finally “retaliated” …
(This happened two days ago.)
“呜… 呜… 呜… 妈妈, 爸爸不爱我了! 爸爸不要我了!” (boohoo…boohoo… Mommy, Daddy doesn’t love me anymore! He doesn’t want me anymore!)
“什么? 不要哭, 慢慢跟妈妈讲.” (What? Don’t cry, tell me about it.)
“”呜… 呜… 呜… 妈妈, 爸爸不爱我了!爸爸不要我了! 他不要跟我讲话了.” (boohoo…boohoo… Mommy, Daddy doesn’t love me anymore! He doesn’t want me anymore! He doesn’t want to talk to me anymore!)
“他不会不爱你的. 是不是你做错事了? 你是不是不乖啊?”(He still loves you. Did you do something wrong? Are you naughty?)
“来, 妈妈带你去找爸爸, 你跟他说对不起.” (Come with me, I will bring you to apologize to daddy.)
“为什么不要?” (Why not?)
“我没有踢他! 我只是在做运动, 我的脚不听话踢到他. 不是我踢他的. I don’t want to say sorry to him.” (I didn’t kick him. I was just exercising my leg. My naughty leg kicked him, not me. I don’t want to say sorry to him.)
“But if you don’t say sorry to him, he will be upset and that makes you sad, right?)
“Come! Mommy bring you to him.”
Finally, she went with me. She hugged her daddy and both made up almost immediately, even though she still didn’t apologize to him. -_-
Yesterday I suggested for a walk around the neighbourhood because I needed to take a break from the packing. She told me that she wanted to go to the farm because she had promised her daddy that she would pick some strawberries for him. Even though I was dead tired, but seeing her so serious about keeping her promise to her daddy, I drove her to the farm. Unlike the previous trip, she was really selective in picking the strawberries. She only picked those big, red berries and placed them carefully in the box. She didn’t even rush me to bring her to the barnyard! When we finally gathered a pint full of big, juicy strawberries, she said to me, “This is a surprise for my daddy! He will be so happy when he sees these strawberries!” Aww…